It’s honestly heartbreaking to hear about things like Robin Williams’ death. That someone who was that successful, that selfless, that kind and loving, couldn’t win the battle against his mental illness.
I’ve seen it making its rounds on the internet lately. “Robin Williams didn’t die of suicide.” The argument is that, when someone dies of cancer, we do not delve into the details of the exact medical cause of death. When someone asks, “How did they die?” We do not say, “Pulmonary embolism.” Apparently, this is evidence that we should not say that Robin Williams died of suicide, because suicide is a “fatal symptom” of depression. So we should say that Robin Williams died of depression.
I take issue with this.
Setting aside the fact that Robin Williams suffered from bipolar disorder, not depression, and therefore it’s extra wildly inaccurate to claim that he died of depression, and also setting aside the fact that his wife has divulged that he was suffering from early stage Parkinson’s Disease, which presumably caused him to feel more hopeless.
Let’s just address this idea of naming the cause of death as something other than suicide.
The argument states that, by calling the cause of death “suicide,” we are making it seem like depression is a choice. That’s frankly ridiculous. Depression is not a choice. Most of us acknowledge that. However, suicide is, in fact, a choice. Barring psychosis, you can spin it in whatever direction you’d like, and suicide will still be a choice. There is a reason we have suicide hotlines and not pulmonary embolism hotlines, and it has everything to do with the fact that suicide requires a person to make a decision. If you think you’re about to have a pulmonary embolism, calling a hotline to talk to someone who will tell you not to have a pulmonary embolism or give you resources that will tell you what to do instead of having a pulmonary embolism is going to do absolutely nothing for you. However, if you think you’re about to commit suicide, calling a hotline to talk to someone who can provide you with reasons not to commit suicide and with resources to help you actually CAN do something to prevent you from committing suicide.
It would be totally harmless to insist that Robin Williams died of mental illness if mental illness weren’t already a diagnosis associated with such hopelessness.
Speaking from experience, I can tell you that having a mental illness feels like a sentence to life without hope. It’s terrifying. It feels like you will never find joy or comfort. So to hear someone say that Robin Williams’ suicide was not a choice, but a fatal symptom, makes it sound inevitable. After all, if this illness is going to result in death at my own hand regardless, why should I keep fighting it? If I have no control over whether or not I commit suicide, why bother trying not to do it?
I have attempted suicide. And I would be lying if I claimed that it was not a choice. I knew what I was doing. I thought about it. I considered my options. I was in control of my actions. It was not a fatal symptom. Suicidal ideation? That was a symptom. That was something that I had no control over. I could not stop myself from thinking about it, struggling with the idea of it. I could, however, stop myself from making that decision.
Does that mean that people who commit or attempt suicide do not deserve sympathy? No. Suicidal ideation is horrible, and it eats away at you. It feels like something is invading your mind and you have no control over it. And that is why it is so important to me that we keep on stating that suicide IS, in fact, a choice. Because the less power we give ourselves over something like this, the easier it is to give in to those ideas. The more we tout that mental illness itself is the culprit of the deaths of those who commit suicide, the more power we give to mental illness, and the less power we give to those suffering.
So no. Robin Williams did not die of mental illness.
He died of suicide.
He suffered from mental illness.
I suffer from mental illness. A lot of people I care about suffer from mental illness. Suicidal ideation is frequently a symptom of that mental illness. But we do not need to die of suicide. We have that choice. We have that power.
Purposeful Meandering 